Daily Humor to Make You Smile

Americans are too uptight. We all need to step back, relax and smile. I don’t think anyone would get hurt if you just outright laughed out loud. It’s good for you.

That brings to mind a couple friends of mine: Richard and Terry. These guys, both married to wonderful ladies, have another love in their lives: being on the water, well – that and beer. You can find them out boating rivers, lakes and, on occasion, the ocean. It was one such ocean voyage we want to discuss here.

Things did not go exactly as planned, and Richard and Terry found themselves alone in a lifeboat. Days passed. On Day 14, the signal lamp’s battery died. The guys looked at one another for quite a spell before Terry, lamp in hand, said, "What the *&@$ do we do now?"

Richard, being the fun loving guy that he is in just about all circumstances, said, "Why don’t you rub it and see if a genie comes out?"

Terry smiled. "Why the *&@$ not?" He rubbed it furiously. And, sure enough, a beautiful genie appeared. Richard, so taken by her good looks and great physique, just sat there mouth agape and silent when she explained that she was a genie in training and, because of that, could grant them only one wish.

Terry immediately shouted, "Turn the ocean into beer."

That brought Richard out of his trance. "No, no, wait!" he shouted. Too late. The ocean became beer and the genie disappeared. "Damnation, boy," he shouted at Terry. "What were you thinking? Now we’re gonna have to pee in the boat."

Terry and Richard have a friend named Robert who works down at the local appliance store. One day this devastatingly beautiful blond walked into the store and Robert rushed up to her. "May I help you, young lady?" he gushed.

"Yes," she answered. "I want to buy this TV."

Robert was crestfallen. "I’m sorry, m’am. We don’t sell to blondes."

"Okay," she said, and left the store.

A couple days passed, and she dyed her hair brown. She returned to the appliance store and, once again, Robert greeted her. "May I help you, young lady?"

"Yes," she answered. "I want to buy this TV."

Once again, Robert was crestfallen. "I’m sorry, m’am. We don’t sell to blondes."

"Okay," she said, and left the store just like she had the first time. Two weeks passed. She dyed her hair red and returned to the store.

Robert, for the third time, greeted her. "May I help you, young lady?"

"Yes," she said. "I want to buy this TV."

Once again Robert replied, "I’m sorry, m’am. We don’t sell to blondes."

The young beauty turned to square off with him. "Okay, the first time I came in here I had blond hair. You said you didn’t sell to blonds, so I left. But I came back as a brunette and today as a redhead, and you are still saying you don’t sell to blonds. How do you know I’m blond?"

Robert smiled, "Because this is a microwave, not a TV."

Terry and Richard have a lot of friends. One such female friend, Mary, visited her grandmother shortly after the death of her grandfather.

"Memaw," she asked. "What caused Papaw’s death?"

Her grandmother began to explain. "We were making love…"

"Memaw!" Mary shouted. "Don’t you know that’s very dangerous for people your age?"

"No, no, no, honey," her grandmother replied. "We had a perfectly good system. Every Sunday morning the church bells would ring, and it helped us develop a slow, steady, and perfectly safe, rhythm. Forward on the ding and backward on the dong. It was great for years. But, then, one Sunday morning, a damn ice cream truck showed up."

One of Richard and Terry’s friends, a female, is getting up in years and I ain’t about to reveal her name. In her younger days, she had been the belle of the ball at every night club she visited. She was one in-demand honey, if you know what I mean. Anyway, that was then, and this is now. She comes up with an idea about how to reclaim her glory days. One night she goes to the local honky-tonk wearing only a trench coat. Nothing else. Just a trench coat.

She spies one likely looking guy, walks up to him, opens the trench coat and asks, "Super sex?" He jumps up, screams the word disgusting, and runs out of the bar.

So, she looks around and spots a guy who’s not quite as good looking as the first. She walks up, opens her trench coat and says, "Super Sex." He jumps up, screams the word disgusting, and runs out of the bar.

So, she spots a third guy. This one looks quite nerdy, and she figures he hasn’t been with a woman in a long, long time. So, she walks up to him, opens her trench coat, and says, "Super Sex." He looks at the woman and lets his eyes roam up and down her body. "Soup," he answered.

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Other Websites of Interest

Online Little Rock.com is where Uncle Brice got his start. There’s a ton of information on this site about Arkansas, Little Rock, dining, dancing, shopping (and shopping online). It’s also a high-trafficked Civil War information site. You can even find out stuff about all the colleges and universities of Arkansas.

Home Business Opportunities is a site that has never been more in demand. You can find legitimate ways to earn money from home as well as a lot of information about Internet marketing, writing, building traffic for your website, and more.

The owners of Online Little Rock have a mission in life to teach everyone about brain injury. They have two websites that have hundreds of pages of information, including visitor-submitted Brain Injury Stories. The sites are Brain Injury Online and Brain Injury Guide.

Beth’s Brain Injury Blog is a favorite in the brain injury community. She writes about the good, the bad and the ugly of brain injury and how you must maintain a sense of humor to live successfully whether you are the victim or a caregiver.